Soothing Your ‘Panic Brain’
“Isolation and the potential loss of loving connection is coded by the human brain into a primal panic response.” ~ Sue Johnson
Sue Johnson, the creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples, speaks about the 'panic brain' triggered by the amygdala and how it needs to be soothed. Her research shows that a secure, warm, loving relationship between a couple can create an atmosphere where this panic brain is calmed and no longer feels threatened. This kind of bond provides the comfort necessary to help the brain move away from fear and find solace in a secure connection with another human being.
The amygdala
The amygdala is a region of the brain associated with emotion, fear, and stress. It's well established that this small but powerful area is crucial in triggering human anxiety and panic reactions.
This heightened activation can lead to excessive fear and worry in situations where they might not be warranted, causing irrational panic attacks or intense anxiety.
This 'panic brain' reaction may include feelings of distress and exaggerated physical responses, including increased heart rate and breathing, which are hallmarks of anxiety and panic reactions.
Your amygdala in relationships
Couples often find themselves at odds with each other due to their overreactions.
In situations where partners feel triggered, one may become livid with rage. At the same time, the other might opt for a more subdued approach, refusing to engage and shutting down instead.
For instance, if one partner comments on the other's spending habits in a condescending tone, the insulted partner may respond with an outburst of aggression that quickly escalates.
Another typical example is when one partner feels wronged and reacts by completely withdrawing from communication rather than attempting to work through the issue.
In both cases, the amygdala has been triggered, making it challenging to address the situation without further escalation.
It is challenging to disengage from this kind of reaction deeply rooted in our biology. It's exceptionally challenging to override the 'panic brain' alarm bells when we feel threatened or attacked.
The emotional tolls can be devastating if not addressed.
What can we do about threat reactions in a relationship?
Relationships can be deeply nourishing, but when one partner's amygdala is triggered, that changes. One person's 'panic brain' can lead to a feeling of danger that puts both partners in an uncomfortable and disheartening position.
One of the most effective techniques for calming the amygdala is mindfulness. By practicing being fully present with your breath and body sensations, you'll be better able to bring yourself back into a place of balance.
Taking breaks away from each other during moments of high emotion can also provide much-needed space and perspective. Time outs can help regulate arousal levels so that a couple can come back together more harmoniously.
And engaging in healthy communication strategies such as active listening, expressing empathy, and staying curious will allow you to navigate difficult conversations.
The best antidote to our 'panic brains'
And there is more. When I first became a therapist 30 years ago, the thought was that couples need communication skills. Communication skills indeed do help, but only sometimes. In my efforts to find highly effective therapies, I learned of EFT for couples.
EFT has over 20 years of research behind it and meets the "gold standard" for effectiveness by APA (American Psychological Association). With EFT, you can find those repetitive negative patterns and create beneficial changes that can last.
A secure, safe, loving relationship is the best antidote to our panic brains.
EFT can help calm your 'panic brain'
Sue Johnson, the creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), has long championed that relationships can be powerful tools for soothing a 'panic brain.'
Through her research, Johnson found that couples who have built solid and secure bonds can better calm their brains in moments of threat or distress.
In such instances, Johnson suggests creating a warm, loving environment to provide the reassurance necessary to bring a person back into equilibrium.
Ultimately, Johnson believes it is through meaningful connection with another person that we can best soothe our brains under threat.
Summary
The amygdala plays an integral role in humans' anxiety and panic reactions by responding to fear-related stimuli. Couples often have difficulty managing their amygdala-driven reactions.
This type of 'panic brain' reaction can make it challenging to facilitate conflicts as it allows anger or fear to take over rational thought processes. Moreover, these reactions often ignite a vicious cycle of negative responses that can be hard to resolve.
Johnson suggests creating a warm, loving environment to provide the reassurance necessary to bring a person back into equilibrium. Ultimately, Johnson believes it is through meaningful connection with another person that we can best soothe our brains under threat.
Take the next step
Your relationship can be a source of meaningful connection. A safe, secure bond is possible. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) can help you create a warm, reliable emotional bond. Contact me today.