4 Ways You Can Begin to Communicate Better With Your Partner

A perfect match. Two peas in a pod. The peanut butter to your jelly.

Or so you used to be.

Now, your days are filled with screaming, yelling, and fighting.

There seems to be a disagreement or argument about everything lately.

Didn't take out the trash? Anger.

Came home late? Screaming.

Forgot about the plans you had together? Silent treatment.

You keep sweeping things under the rug hoping they'll get better. But they don't. And they won't if you don't actually talk about what's been going on.

Here are 4 ways you can begin to communicate better with your partner.

1. Stay in the Present

No matter what bothered you in the past, no matter what fights you got into, and no matter what was said, the past is the past. The past needs to stay in the past. There's no reason to bring up anything that is already said and done.

You can't expect to communicate openly and effectively with your partner if you're continuously bringing up situations, conversations, and events that happened weeks, months, or years ago. Plus, there's a good chance that your partner may not even remember what you're referring to.

One of the best things you can do to communicate better with your partner is to stay in the present moment. Leave the past in the past and try not to worry about the future and things you don't have any control over.

2. Listen More Than You Speak

When you're involved in a conversation, especially a tough one, it can be easy to plan what you're going to say next instead of listening to what the other person may be saying to you.

If you know that you do this, work towards actively listening. Take the time to actually listen, hear, and absorb what your partner is saying to you. Active listening will make you hear and understand their side of things, just as they're doing the same for you when you're speaking to them.

Make sure you're hearing them properly as well. If you don't feel like you fully understood what they're saying, or if you're only paying attention to certain bits and pieces of their overall message, ask for clarification.

3. Use "I" Statements When Talking

Have you ever heard the phrase "Think before you speak"? Well, it's time to implement it because it can work wonders during tough conversations.

Before speaking to your partner, make sure you're using the right verbiage. Using "I" statements can help your partner see your side of things without feeling like you're attacking them.

4. Pickup On Nonverbal Cues

Nonverbal cues can be just as important, if not more important.

Pay close attention to your partner while they're speaking to you. This will not only ensure that you are actively listening, but it will also help you be able to pick up on some of the nonverbal cues.

Crossed arms, leaning back and away from the other person, and lack of eye contact could mean that the person is feeling attacked, defensive, insecure, or uninterested.

Make sure you're trying your hardest to give clear eye contact, you position your body towards the person that's speaking to you, and you open yourself up, body and mind.

Good communication will involve both you and your partner taking turns to speak and listen. The conversation should ebb and flow naturally.

Next Steps

If you and your partner are struggling with your communication or if you're just interested in improving how you communicate with one another, reach out to us today to set up a consultation. Individual or couples therapy may be exactly what you need to build a stronger bond together now and in years to come.