Accept Whatever Comes

Eckhart Tolle says we have three choices in any life situation: accept it, change it or leave it. This blog focuses on the first one, acceptance.

Even when we know a change or an ending is needed, acceptance as a first step can create a more peaceful outcome.

Acceptance is the very nature of awareness — it is a necessary ingredient to a peaceful life. It might sound simple, yet, it's not always easy.

A quote that grabbed my attention and has been gold in my life is one by Marcus Aurelius:

Accept whatever comes to you, 

woven in the pattern of your destiny, 

for what could more aptly fit your needs.

Marcus Aurelius

Acceptance is worth contemplating. Clearly, it's not denial or even detachment. It has more of a leaning in quality. And yet, it doesn't necessarily include being glad about what happens.

Some situations and relationships need to change, and sometimes we must leave situations and people. And it works well to begin any process with acceptance.

What does Marcus Aurelius know about acceptance?

Marcus Aurelius had a lot to accept. He was a Roman Emperor born in 121 AD and was known as a 'philosopher king.' He was a rare political leader who was wise and is said to have achieved enlightenment. 

He was also someone who was given many challenges. During his reign as emperor, he faced one difficulty after another. In his personal life, he had 14 children, most of whom died in childbirth or in childhood. Heartbreak multiplied.

On top of that, a son in line to be his successor greatly disappointed him. Marcus Aurelius' died knowing his erratic, unreliable son would follow him as emperor, destroying everything he had worked to build.

Marcus Aurelius had a lot of challenges to work with — and to me, that gives his words about acceptance credibility. He walked his talk.

Accept whatever comes to you

'Accept whatever comes to you' is all-encompassing. For me, it means noticing my own reactions as I move through life. Seeing what shows up in both my outer and inner worlds.

And, especially, being aware of the part of me that resists what shows up, often an indication of fear. Life is full of change, and we commonly fight unexpected events, delays, obstacles, and loss. These are the things needing to be embraced by acceptance.

Woven in the pattern of your destiny

'Woven in the pattern of your destiny' speaks to a bigger picture, an individualized, personal growth plan for me. MY destiny, my unique path to peace. Victim no more. Things happen for me instead of to me.

It speaks to an honoring of my personal journey to God. Of course, I do my best to learn and to meet the challenges so that they are resolved and turn into something beneficial.

For what could more aptly fit your needs

'For what could more aptly fit your needs.' Life is trying to meet my personal needs. It gives me the right challenges for me. Not more than I need, not less. 

In the big picture, this challenge fits me and my life. I can be freed of comparing myself to others.

Putting Acceptance into Action

So what does it look like to 'accept what comes'? 

For me, it involves slowing down and a conscious breath. 

Depending on what it is, I often need to take some time, giving myself space from my automatic conditioned reaction.

Listen to the response of my body. And it helps me to look at the situation from different angles and get more information.

Mindfulness

These not-easy-to-accept sorts of things are an excellent opportunity to watch my mind. Ah, mindfulness.

As I pause, breathe and watch my mind, I can ask, 'does my imagination kick in and go to an extreme?' 

Can I watch my mind without taking it too seriously?

Breathe. Slow down. Stay in the present. Notice any activation in my physiology. 

Do I need to take time to de-activate? Get more information. Breathe again. Listen to a deeper wisdom within to see what might be next.

Bigger Challenges

I know that sometimes we face complex situations that take time and effort to resolve. Some challenges take years to get to a resolution. Those challenges are the ones that offer the most significant growth opportunities, often requiring some fundamental rewiring of our minds and our emotional systems.

I can't help but think that was probably the journey of Marcus Aurelius.

Mindfulness with Therapy

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